Thursday, February 6, 2014
30 Things I've Learned in my Thirties
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Everyone makes your shit about themselves.
They can't help it. People can only see through their own eyes and minds. Think about a time that was supposed to be yours and remember how so-and-so screwed it up for you.
Example number 1: During my Pulmonary Embolism, my older sister decided that it would be a good time to bond with my Dad, leaving me in the hospital alone.
Example number 2: My sister's wedding (which if anyone gets a day, that's the one) has to be your day. Well a racoon made its appearance int he tree above the ceremony and basically stole my sister's thunder.
Example Number 3: When my husband had a full-on manic episode in Texas the summer my Dad passed away. I'll spare you the details because it was BAD! And it would not make you think highly of my husband who is actually a great guy.
Example number infinity: Anytime someone has made your show about themselves. I know that you can think about it and come up with something pretty easy.
People, including myself, cannot help but first response think about how what you just said affects their life before they consider anyone else's feelings.
So forgive those who live in their own moment, but never forget to remind someone that 'This is not your rodeo'.
Example number 1: During my Pulmonary Embolism, my older sister decided that it would be a good time to bond with my Dad, leaving me in the hospital alone.
Example number 2: My sister's wedding (which if anyone gets a day, that's the one) has to be your day. Well a racoon made its appearance int he tree above the ceremony and basically stole my sister's thunder.
Example Number 3: When my husband had a full-on manic episode in Texas the summer my Dad passed away. I'll spare you the details because it was BAD! And it would not make you think highly of my husband who is actually a great guy.
Example number infinity: Anytime someone has made your show about themselves. I know that you can think about it and come up with something pretty easy.
People, including myself, cannot help but first response think about how what you just said affects their life before they consider anyone else's feelings.
So forgive those who live in their own moment, but never forget to remind someone that 'This is not your rodeo'.
Kinder: A woman's perspective
Well, isn't Kinder fun. People who are choosing people solely based on their looks and short bio. I know I've run across profiles that made me smile, made me cringe, bathroom selfies (no) of someone so hot (yes) that they were not mortal enough to ever even need to use the bathroom. I had downloaded the app and had been playing with it. It is kind of like hot or not, which is also now a dating app (but less classy*).
The object of Kinder is to meet a match. For girls, usually this means whether the boy is cute or not. For boys, Hot means I would at least touch her boobs, more if she let me. ;)
One night, I got curious about a match/decided it was just time to go do something else for a change.
I met him at the restaurant that he was managing that night. I walked in sat at the bar and ordered a drink.
He walked up in the empty bar and asked if my name was what it is, and I asked him the same. Witty Banter (that in retrospect implied that he really disliked women and gays in general) followed us to the next bar after he closed the restaurant. Although he was funny, cute and rude in a way I hadn't seen before. Probably because he is from Boston and said wicked and hard r's.
I followed him to his house hoping to have another drink and leave. He had different ideas. It must have been 15 seconds into the house before he had his dick out. He then turned me over, ripped though my pantyhose and fucked me hard, cumming on my back. I got up and went to the bathroom. His water was off, he reminded me, because of a plumbing problem. I had to wipe his jizz off my back with toilet paper. This was hardly the romance and adventure I''d been looking for. I left so quickly that I didn't reassemble my own tights. I carried them in my bag. But...
I had left my leather jacket with my garage door opener in it inside his shitty house. So I called the restaurant the next day. He was working and said verbatim "Let me guess. That's the only jacket you have?"
Excuse me?! Weren't you the gray raping asshole from last night? I went by a Walgreen's no where near my neighborhood and picked up a packet of
Plan B
2 Condoms
Thank you Card
When he texted me that he was home several hours later, I took him an envelope in return for my jacket. He felt the envelope and asked "Are there condoms in here?".
"Yes" I replied. "As well as a receipt for Plan B because I would kill myself before having your child. Thanks. Bye" and I walked over to my nicer car than his and left.
Women. Just use Kinder to get a confidence boost if you must but something about ladies want to be attractive, and whores want attention.
Be a good bit smarter than I was.
The object of Kinder is to meet a match. For girls, usually this means whether the boy is cute or not. For boys, Hot means I would at least touch her boobs, more if she let me. ;)
One night, I got curious about a match/decided it was just time to go do something else for a change.
I met him at the restaurant that he was managing that night. I walked in sat at the bar and ordered a drink.
He walked up in the empty bar and asked if my name was what it is, and I asked him the same. Witty Banter (that in retrospect implied that he really disliked women and gays in general) followed us to the next bar after he closed the restaurant. Although he was funny, cute and rude in a way I hadn't seen before. Probably because he is from Boston and said wicked and hard r's.
I followed him to his house hoping to have another drink and leave. He had different ideas. It must have been 15 seconds into the house before he had his dick out. He then turned me over, ripped though my pantyhose and fucked me hard, cumming on my back. I got up and went to the bathroom. His water was off, he reminded me, because of a plumbing problem. I had to wipe his jizz off my back with toilet paper. This was hardly the romance and adventure I''d been looking for. I left so quickly that I didn't reassemble my own tights. I carried them in my bag. But...
I had left my leather jacket with my garage door opener in it inside his shitty house. So I called the restaurant the next day. He was working and said verbatim "Let me guess. That's the only jacket you have?"
Excuse me?! Weren't you the gray raping asshole from last night? I went by a Walgreen's no where near my neighborhood and picked up a packet of
Plan B
2 Condoms
Thank you Card
When he texted me that he was home several hours later, I took him an envelope in return for my jacket. He felt the envelope and asked "Are there condoms in here?".
"Yes" I replied. "As well as a receipt for Plan B because I would kill myself before having your child. Thanks. Bye" and I walked over to my nicer car than his and left.
Women. Just use Kinder to get a confidence boost if you must but something about ladies want to be attractive, and whores want attention.
Be a good bit smarter than I was.
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